Boy, am I dumb.
See, I got a new lawnmower. Not new, really. Used. I get a lot of lawnmowers, and if they work, before I sell them, I'll use them to mow my lawn once or twice.
This one was (and still is, as of this post) pretty nice. A Craftsman self-propelled job with a 6.75-horspower Briggs & Stratton engine. I can hear Tim Allen grunting now. It started on the second pull, and the first pull every time after that. Not a bad deal.
I wouldn't normally buy a self-propelled mower. How hard is it to push a mower? And I didn't buy this one. But since it's kind enough to propel itself, I'll gladly use it to mow my lawn with slightly less effort. But there's a snag: as I get to the slightly-less-than-flat front section of my lawn, the mower stops moving. Problem? It's too low. Solution? Raise the deck a bit.
Simple enough. So I shut off the mower and lower the wheels on the right side a couple notches. They're a bit stubborn, so when I go to lower the front left wheel, I decide I need to take a firm grasp of the mower. Which I do.
Right. On. The. Fucking. Muffler.
For the first instant I couldn't figure out why the hell my hand suddenly hurt so much. Didn't take long to catch on though.
With a lot of cold water and even a bit of ice, I was back out mowing the lawn within 10 minutes. That was five hours ago [it was when I wrote this, anyway]; I've taken some ibuprofen and now my fingers don't hurt, but they do feel like I have dried-up glue on the end of them.
And me? I feel like a fucking dumbass. A word of advice: don't grab your lawnmower by the muffler. Duh.